The Vibe from Mrs. V

Dear Family and Friends,

A CaringBridge website was created for Diane V. to share health news and receive support.

Visit in three easy ways:

1. Visit on the web by clicking either link below.
Full Site: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dianevanvalkenburg
Mobile: http://m.caringbridge.org/visit/dianevanvalkenburg

2. Enter the site name, dianevanvalkenburg, at www.caringbridge.org or m.caringbridge.org.

3. Enter the site name, dianevanvalkenburg, on your CaringBridge iPhone or Android app.

When you visit you’ll be asked to log in, because Diane’s family has chosen to keep the site private.

I call it the beginning of the end… or is it the end to the beginning?

I entered hospice on Sunday. My three daughter-in-laws, my sons and my sister were with me to sign up.

The last two years have been an incredible journey for me. The best part was spending more time with my family, my friends, and being on my spiritual journey.

On May 15, I became an oblate of the order of St. Benedict.

Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Community made such a wonderful commitment. The children and youth have kept me in their lives and given me so much joy. I have been to graduations, plays, concerts and tennis matches. On May 31, I will be at the Confirmation for our youth. What energy and hope your children have given me! I have seen marriages; and the baptisms of your children. For two years, someone has fed me at least once a week. I’m glad to have all that extra weight now! Thank you for keeping me in your prayers and lives.

I was able to join the adult choir and sing during Holy Week and celebrate Easter in a whole new way. What a gift for me. What a group of truly holy people who come together each week to make worship more meaningful for our community.

When I was walking into Holy Name one day, Sam Ladendorf came up to me and said, “You know, it’s been so long since you have worked here - I forgot your name. What is it? Mrs. Who?”

I told him that I am Mrs. VanValkenburg.

“Oh yeah! Well, Mrs. VanValkenburg, how are you?”

Well, Sam, I am just fine. I am getting ready to enter the next stage of my existence. I think God is still preparing my room and that my son Jake is making sure it is just perfect for his mom. Thank you for remembering at least who I was.

I am so happy for the years I spent at HNOJ with you, your children and youth. Their love, prayers and joy have come back to me ten-fold. God is good! HNOJ was the best thing that happened for me, my family and my faith.

And so, this is my last journal entry. I will soon be doing a Caring Bridge page.

I close with Philippians:

“I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you, praying always with joy in my every prayer for all of you, because of your partnership for the gospel from the first day until now. I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right that I should think this way about all of you, because I hold you in my heart, you who are all partners with me in grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and every kind of perception, to discern what is of value, so that you may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ filled with the fruit of righteousness and come through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God.”  ~Phillipians 1:3-11

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg

P.S. I think I am going to like hospice; they come to my home to give back rubs!

Chris Gibbs said it’s been a while since I have updated my blog…so Chris this one is for you, after all it is who you know that makes one do something.

The chemo was not working….why continue with it?

I asked my doctor about radiation. She said we could give it a try.
“Do you have a doctor in mind?”

My brother is a radiation oncologist so he gave me the name of a very good doctor.

When I went to make the appointment for Dr. David Manyak he was booked for 6 weeks.
I mentioned my brother’s name and got in the following Monday. I have had 35 radiation treatments and the tumor is smaller.

My sister Ellen knew of someone who knew the leading Breast Cancer Doctor at Mayo Clinic. She dropped a few names and got in to see him. Her tumor was not shrinking. They put her on shots. She is feeling oh, so much better. She had a holiday in Ireland for 10 days.

Several months ago Linda Scherer was in a very bad car accident. Critical condition. Intensive Care. Her Caring Bridge site is on overload with all the friends and people her family has touched throughout the years. Prayers are storming heaven. Linda is now at home taking one day at a time. It’s who they know that have prayed for them.

I got a letter from Barb Stender to join the choir this year. A personal note on the letter indicated that the Holy Spirit guided her to invite me. Wow!! I have always admired the choir. I actually tried out one year to be a cantor and got the boot.

I am feeling so good, I have decided I need to add to my meager social security income so I was looking for a job when Lynn Fellers called me and told me her daughter was going back to school and the lady she worked for was looking for someone to help with her child a few days a week. I told Lynn what I was thinking and the lady called me and now I am working a few days a week. Lynn likes to call those “God Winks”

My six year old grandson, Jordan has been watching as other children continue to tease another Kindergarten boy on the bus ride to school. One day Jordan had enough. All 46 inches of Jordan walked up to the two boys who were teasing and asked why they were treating his friend that way. He asked them to please stop. The next day those bullies asked Jordan to sit with them. The teasing has stopped… His little friend sure is glad he knows Jordan.

Dropping my brother’s name isn’t always wise, but that day the Holy Spirit gave me a nudge…sometimes it’s who you know and who you listen to (like God)

My sister Ellen dropped a few names and got in right away to Mayo Clinic. She is still a non believer of Jesus but has plenty of people praying for her that are….that’s how she got in at Mayo.

Linda and Greg Scherer made their journey from hospital to rehab to home. She was embraced with the feeling of so many that held her in prayer. She and Greg know so many people that believe in the power of prayer. She and Greg know about HIM and a miracle has happened.

Why did Lynn Fellers call me that day? It worked out perfect. It was a “God Wink”.

It was Barb Stender who knows the Holy Spirit and listened, now I am in the choir. I never would have thought of joining had she not listened to the Holy Spirit. I hope she is glad she did. I sit in front of Barbara Shaw and pretend her voice is my voice. I love being in the choir.

Wouldn’t you love the courage and determination of a six year old? Not afraid to ask why? Jordan knows right from wrong and was not afraid to stick up for his friend. It was the WHO in Jordan’s life that gave him the courage. Jordan attends Sunday School at Holy Name and has learned about HIM. Thanks Jennifer.

I was at Rainbow and I saw a lady I haven’t seen in years. She looked at me and said, “What are you doing here?”
I answered, “Prayer”.

It is all the who’s I know that have prayed for me. And it is the WHO that I believe in and you believe in that has given me a miracle. Don’t take me off your prayer list. Thank you so much.

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg

P.S. Bring your family to HIM. It is the
WHO they know that is important for life.
We meet every Sunday.

When I think of it I/we use faith in a variety of ways.

We have faith that our tulips will bloom in the spring.
We have faith that the Twins will win a game.
We have faith in our children. They have faith in us.
We have faith in a person we can trust.
We have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow.

I had faith that my mom and sister would have a good time at the White House.

Sunday morning I was especially thankful to God for my extended life. It was a beautiful day. I was in tears as I thanked God for yet another day. I went to Mass with my sister. I had my granddaughter with me.

I am going to be part of a day at VBS and help tell a story to the children. I am on a team that originated 20 years ago.

I have been asked to be a Confirmation sponsor for Megan Keefe.

Last fall, I volunteered to be the Partners in Art lady for my grandson’s Second Grade class. My faith was wavering. I didn’t know if I would be able to make the commitment for the whole year. On June 2nd, Don Bania and I will be doing the last Partners in Art for Jackson’s class. I was able to be present each month.

I had all my siblings and mother over for dinner - my mother was elated. We actually got along for most of the evening. My brother reminded me, “It is not just faith you have Diane, it is faith in God.” Our God who is so powerful and merciful. Our God who loves us unconditionally and promises us Eternal Life. I have faith in God. I can say that with conviction. I feel strong when I name my faith. I feel loved.

My tulips have never been more bountiful or beautiful than they are this spring.

The Twins won the game we attended as a family on Mother’s Day.

The Son was shining on all my children, my two beautiful daughter-in-laws and my grandchildren.

I love sharing Eucharist with my sister. I love the Catholic faith.

I can’t wait to share my faith in God with the children at VBS. Our team will be lively and fun and hopefully be contagious to the children so that they can enjoy their faith.

Megan has faith in me and has honored me by asking to be her Confirmation sponsor. I will share with her my faith and God. I hope to share with her the richness and beauty of our Catholic faith.

Don Bania, a strong Christian and a person who has faith in God, and I will be going to Jackson’s 2nd grade class at a public school with the hopes the children see something in us that illuminates a love for our faith in God. We won’t be able to speak it!

I prayed that God would put a Christian person in the path of my mother and sister. They not only had fun at the White House, they got to sit at the table with Michelle Obama, a woman of great Christian beliefs. There were only eight at a table.

It is wonderful to have faith. To claim our faith in Jesus Christ.

Mark Best had faith in God and Jesus Christ.

Kathy Patten had faith in God and Jesus Christ.

They both shared their faith in God with our youth and children. What a gift they gave us all…their faith…they gave it away.

When it gets right down to it, isn’t that what really counts?

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg

“Hope is putting your trust in the power of God…despite the evidence and watching the evidence change.” ~ Jim Wallis

My tumor has not grown; it just sits there… hard to believe.

My sister and mom are going to the White House… hard to believe.

I am here for another Mother’s Day… hard to believe.

I received an award… hard to believe.

I was working with my grandson on his First Communion book. He was really paying attention as I read with him. He was into it! I stopped at a certain point and said, “Jackson, this is the part of the Mass where the bread and wine become Jesus.” He was looking intently, pondering, thinking and then looked up to me and said, “Grannie, that is pretty hard to believe.”

After a short delay of utter awe, I replied, “It is Jackson, and that is what we call faith.”

I am enjoying passing on my faith to my grandson. Since First Communion, he is so into his bible. I asked where he got all the information about the bible stories and he told me, “Grannie, my Sunday School teachers taught me.” His favorite Bible story was from VBS. I called Mary Guerrero and told her all the work we did with the Sunday School program and teaching the kids Bible stories really paid off. I thank Julie Harries and Leah Hupp for bringing the Bible story of Daniel and the Lions alive for the children with their VBS story. Jackson remembered that from three years ago. Jackson remembers the Bible stories from Sunday School and still has the Bible he received during Sunday School. Now he can read it himself.

My tumor has not grown; it just sits there. A little hope, a little faith, and lots of prayer. Let it sit. I love watching the evidence change.

My sister Ellen’s scans show more thickness, most likely more cancer. The Mayo tells her to quit the chemo. She was featured in the Star and Tribune on Sunday, April 18th. A documentary of her life long work was at the Minneapolis film festival the same evening - more than 100 people were there to support her. She is receiving award after award. She says she may have to build a shelf for them. These are much deserved awards for her work in fighting domestic abuse for women and children.

Her most recent honor is that she is invited to have tea at the White House with Michelle Obama. She is to bring someone who has influenced her work and my 88 year old mother is going. We are all excited for both mom and Ellen. It will give them both so much pleasure and joy. The tea will be on May 7th and they will spend the weekend with friends over Mother’s Day. My hope and prayer is that God will put someone in Ellen’s path so that she can be open to the prayers that are prayed for her daily and be able to realize the real award is what awaits us in heaven.

I told my boys we should get Twin tickets for Mother’s Day…all of us, grandchildren included. They said, “Sure - in your dreams! We won’t be able to get 13 tickets.”

I said a prayer. I got on the phone and got 13 tickets.

I e-mailed them, “A little hope, a little faith and a prayer, and I am here for another Mother’s Day and we are all going to the game together. We are going to bus downtown and enjoy the day with one another.” I will be with all my children, daughter-in-laws, grandchildren and I will be wearing Jake’s Twins Shirt. He will be in our hearts. We will all have a circle saying Circle me Bert…watch for us on TV!

Our hope is always that our kids will get it. We pray for them to have faith. We plant the seeds and sometimes we are blessed enough to realize the fruits of our labor. I have been blessed. I may not have been invited to the White House, but I sure like the little White House on County Road 24 and all the awards I get - like Caleb Hupp asked me to be his grandmother for a day at HNOJ’s Grandparent’s Day. Now that’s an award!

With hope, faith, prayers and love,
Diane VanValkenburg

James 5:14 “Is any man sick among you? Let him bring in the priests of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.”

Sunny Scott called me today and asked if I would carry the oil of the sick in the procession for Holy Thursday.

I am touched. I am honored and I cried. It was just a year ago that Father Tim anointed my sister and myself with the oil of the sick. Oil that is nurturing, healing.

Good Friday of last year I was given six months to a year.

Almost a year later I will be celebrating and worshipping with my Holy Name Community The Triduum.

When I carry the oil up I will carry it up for all the people who are in need. I will carry it up with thanksgiving that I was anointed not only with the oil but given the love and prayers of so many. I experience the face of God in so many good people. I will carry it up with thanksgiving for each new day God has granted me. I will carry it up for all those who are suffering from illness.

I am humbled to be able to carry the oil for so many.

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg

I decided to go to my sister Ellen’s training. She gives the key note talk. Ellen is the founder/director of a non-profit organization “Praxis”. Praxis International, Inc. is a nonprofit research and training organization that works toward the elimination of violence in the lives of women and children. I entered a room very unlike the rooms I am use to entering. This one was filled to capacity with prosecutors, policeman/woman (I never saw so many holstered guns), a few judges, those working for 911, social workers. They didn’t start with prayer. This is one of 4 trainings Ellen will be giving in the next few months. They didn’t end with prayer.

As I watched her give her talk, educating all these people on how to stop violence, through the “Blue Print” she masterminded, I was in awe. First of all she had a blast of chemo the week before. I had just seen her two days before and she looked gaunt, no hair, no breasts. She ate two bites of her lunch and that was all she could tolerate. Two days later she is standing up before 200 people with hair, breast, color in her cheeks, and a dedication with the same burning desire to keep women and children in safe environments she has had through 30 years of tireless work. She kept her audience captive. She believes in her work. She has a passion for her work.

It made me think. I wonder if I stand up for my beliefs as she does. I wonder if at the end of the day I can say that somehow somewhere I touched someone with the love of Jesus. After all these years do I have the passion and love for spreading the love of Jesus. It was a lot easier when I had a captive audience and worked with children.

I was sitting at the local Holiday station waiting for them to replace my wind shield blades and in walks a man with coffee and a bag with 2 big donuts in it. His jacket had a hockey emblem on it.

I said, I don’t think those donuts are going to help your hockey game. He laughed. We started talking about everything. Allan Merwin goes to the Wayzata Free Church. Through our conversation he asked if I believed in Jesus Christ. With confidence I said….Oh Yes!! When I got up to leave he asked if he could pray with me. In his prayer he said…..”Oh God, allow Diane to do your work everyday.”

I left with a tear in my eye. I was reminded that just because one has terminal cancer doesn’t mean they can quit doing God’s work. (I thought I got off the hook). Now more than ever when the end is in sight Ellen continues her fight and work for women and children. Allan Merwin reminded me that I must always, everyday do God’s work. I need to be open to God’s work everyday and see just what He has planned for me!

I am happy to say Ellen has started conversations with God. Thank you for your continued prayers. God is listening and Ellen is talking.

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg

My sister Ellen and I are not at all alike.

We grew up in the same household. We had the same mother. We had the same father. We went to the same elementary school, St. Raphael’s, until the 8th grade. I went to a public school for my 9th grade. I then went to St. Margaret’s for my remaining high school years. Ellen went all 4 years at St. Margaret’s.

As you know, I am praying for peace for Ellen. Ellen knows I pray for her daily.

Good News: God has taken action.

Ellen is the founder/director of a non-profit organization called Praxis. Praxis International, Inc. is a nonprofit research and training organization that works toward the elimination of violence in the lives of women and children. While still absorbing the fact that her cancer has returned she worries about who will replace her. Anyone would tell you that Ellen is Praxis.

Ellen received a phone call from Obama’s administration the other evening. The woman was the national director for fighting violence against women and children. She told Ellen they wanted to help her in any way they could. They value Ellen’s work and they want Ellen to know that it is more than appreciated. They want to be there first for her. “What can we do?” They had a good talk and Ellen told them what she would need. The woman said they would do what it takes to take the load off Ellen’s mind to find an interim director with a national search to follow. Ellen was relieved. It gave her some peace.

I was ecstatic: God is directing this woman to Ellen to help relieve some of Ellen’s stress. My whole family is happy.

When Ellen and I talked, I told her how happy I was that this was happening. I reminded her that I was praying for her peace. I told her how wonderful it was that God has put this woman in her life, and that He is a loving God. I even suggested to Ellen that since God has been generous and some of her stress is relieved, she might have time to renew her interest in God.

Ellen’s reply was: “Isn’t that interesting? While you thought it was God, my first reaction was, ‘Isn’t sisterhood wonderful?’”

I said, “But Ellen, God does believe in sisterhood.”

Her reply was, “She does?”

I am thankful for all the “sisters” I have through Christ. I am thankful that God has put this woman in my sister’s life.

Growing up together and learning the same things doesn’t necessarily mean we believe the same things. I bet if you take a look at your family, your kids, you’d realize how different each one is. My mother has five children and we are all very different from one another. She loves each of us for who we are. She has allowed us to be individuals. She gave each of us our childhood faith and there are five different paths we have chosen. She loves us for who we are. I sure am glad God created mothers.

I do not have the ability to respond online to comments made to my blog, but I read them and grow in my faith with your words. I also say a Hail Mary for whoever writes a comment. You people have so much to say!

God bless you - my brothers and sisters in Christ.

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg

“Yes, be bold and strong! Banish fear and doubt! For remember, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9, TLB

“Sometimes the Lord calms the storm,
Sometimes He lets the storm rage
And calms His child.”
-Gaylord (Given to me by the Brinza family.)

When I was first diagnosed with re occurring ovarian cancer, I was often asked if I ever wondered why.  Not for a moment did I wonder.  I thought God wanted me to teach my younger sister how to die.

My sister, Ellen, was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer three years ago.  She lived in the fear that it would come back.

She sat with me during one of my chemo treatments and started to cry.  She said, “This is what is going to happen to me.”

She would often ask me why I wasn’t angry, afraid, why was I so at peace?  She didn’t understand how I saw this as a wonderful opportunity for me and my family… that God has given me a gift.

She questioned God.

She witness how God has given me time, given me people who support me, put people in my life who give and give.  People like Greg and Linda Scherer and Karen Richelsen’s parents, Walt and Marion Jones, who gave my family time together in Florida.  They gave with open hands and hearts.

I tell her God loves her endlessly.

She questions God.

2010 brings our family more bad news.  Ellen’s breast cancer has returned with a vengeance.  It has metasized to her stomach.

I tell her God loves her.

She rolls her eyes.

Her doctor tells her he can not cure her but can hopefully give her some time.  She reacts the same way I did.  She tells him to be honest; she does not want a lot of measures used if it is only going to make her not have a good quality of life.  She doesn’t want to suffer unduly.

We both worry about our mother who now has two children with have stage four, terminal cancer.

Ellen tells me she is going to do what I did and get a bucket list and spend quality time with the people she loves.  She has a partner and a three year old boy.

She asks me “What is left in you bucket list?”  I tell her, “To convert you.  For you to know God and be at peace, that is what is left on my bucket list!”  That is why I am here.  I quote John 3:16.

I love my sister and want her to have a glimpse of what lays ahead for us if only we believe.

Ellen has lots of people who support her. She knows judges, lawyers, state representatives…the lists goes on.   She has worked endlessly for battered women and is known around the world for her work.  She has been invited to be on Oprah and declined.  Instead she sent someone else.  She has done good work and helped change laws.  She is the author of the “Blueprint” that has been in the news and continues to work so that courts adopt the policy protecting women.  She is a wonderful woman, daughter, sister, friend, and mother.

It is time for Ellen to go back to her childhood and renew her faith.  I want one more person for her to know… God.  It is time for her to realize that all of her good works were made possible because of God her Creator.  I want her to know Jesus so that she is calm.  I want her to not be afraid and know once again that God has been with her and continues to be.  I want her to know that God loves her unconditionally.

Once again, God has given me a lesson.  I know now firsthand what it is like to have your sister diagnosed with terminal cancer.  It hurts.  God gave me so much time to enjoy and now He says, “Diane - back to work!  You are not going to teach Ellen how to die but be with her as she dies.  Teach her about me, Diane.  I love you both… God.”

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg

If you live each day as if it were you last why would anyone ever plant tulips?

My chemo holiday is coming to an end. I see my doctor on the first. I have lived each day feeling great!

Through the generosity of a friend, my family has been given the use of two condos on Sanibel Island. We leave on the fourth. My children, Jon, Josh, his wife Kim, Laura (Jake’s wife), and all three of the grandchildren. I can’t wait to walk the beach, play games, cook, eat and see the beauty of the ocean, another of God’s miracles. The gift Holy Name gave me will be used for transportation. My chemo holiday will be extended.

This Thanksgiving and Advent season I am reminded of all the things and people for whom I am so thankful. I am thankful for all the prayers that have given me strength, hope and kept the cancer at bay (it certainly wasn’t the chemo). I am thankful for the outpouring of love the community of HNOJ gives and gives. I am thankful for my hero, Joey Carlson, (Joey broke his neck 9 years ago and is a quadriplegic) who writes me notes, gives me inspiration with his great attitude, positive outlook on life, has me over for dinner and laughs with me. His penmanship is shaky (to me a treasure) but he is solid filled with hope and love.

I am thankful that I got the cancer when I did. If I got it a year earlier, I would have been too young to retire. I am now enjoying retirement with my family and friends. Thank you for Dr. Bailey who was so candid and told me to retire.

I am thankful for Eucharist and the richness of the Catholic Faith.

I am praying for a miracle, carrying an umbrella and I planted tulip bulbs all over. I planted them at my son’s, I planted them at my mom’s and I planted them at my house.

I wish for all of you a Happy Thanksgiving, a wonderful Advent.

In His Love,
Diane VanValkenburg